I stumbled across this document today while doing some work on my computer. I shared this testimony in front of the congregation of Valley View Baptist Church on December 14 of 2003 after going through a process of counseling and restoration for some 14 months. I took the liberty to update some information so to give a better picture of what God has done in my life. My testimony is a work in progress and will be so until the day I die.
Two things: One, although there are more things I could share as a part of my testimony, I feel this is what God would have me share in the now. Secondly, I in no way share this in an attempt to justify my poor choices, nor to degrade anyone that might be a part of my story. This is simply my story. It is my prayer that sharing my story helps someone else that believes they are beyond God’s grace, love, and forgiveness.
Testimony of Christian Watts
Let me say first of all, that what I am about to share with you is testimony that God is in the business of changing lives. Although I realized my need for Christ at an early age, I never truly had a relationship with Him until much later in life (age 31). Throughout much of my life I have faced struggles which have tested me, and have led me to ask, “Exactly what am I here for, and what do I believe?”
My struggles began when I was in 5th grade. Our family began experiencing some extreme difficulties that lasted for many years. This, in-turn, had a profound effect on me. At school, I tried to overcome this by being the “class clown”, while at home I would often withdraw to my room and spent most of my time alone. By the time I was 16 we had moved four times, and as each move came I found it more difficult to adjust and make new friends. I began hanging out with the wrong crowd and soon found myself skipping school and drinking. I began dating, and thought that I might find some security there, but as each relationship ended, I would find myself alone, hurting, and more insecure. My relationship with God was at the very least clouded. I mean, I believed in God, but I certainly did not trust Him, nor did I have a relationship with Christ.
The reason I share this part of my story with you is two-fold; One, I truly believe that what we experience in our younger years does have an effect on our adult years. Secondly, I want to encourage you as parents to do whatever it takes to live Godly lives before your children and to love them through life’s difficulties. We as parents can go a long way in helping our children know the love and security of Christ in their lives.
After graduating from high school in the fall of 1990, I began attending college in an effort to obtain a Bachelor of Music Ministry degree. By my second year of college, I was working part time in a local church as a “music minister”. Unfortunately, making poor choices and my severe insecurities were becoming more and more a part of my everyday life. I continued to allow myself to be hurt by going from one relationship to another, all the while finding myself having little to no time for God even though I was working in a church. Satan began to attack me all the more as I began to struggle with lust, a struggle that would ensnare me for many years to come. I began to lose all trust in myself and in others. Every time I turned a corner I would just hit another wall. Every time I picked myself up, I fell right back down again. Therein was the problem. I was trying to do things on my own, and it would take me losing all hope and strength to eventually turn to the One who would change my life.
Growing up I had dreamed of one day attending college at Mars Hill College in Ashville, North Carolina. However, my parents wanted me to remain closer to our home which at the time was Homestead, Florida. Therefore, in an effort to honor my parents wishes I instead attended school at Palm Beach Atlantic College. In the fall of 1991, my parents accepted a call to serve at First Baptist Church of Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was devastated. I mean, I had gone to the college they had asked me to go to so that I might be close to them. I remember my parents driving away... I literally could not even speak! I now found myself hundreds of miles away from any one of my family members. I struggled with severe loneliness and depression. I came to the conclusion that the only way I would find peace was to find someone to love and someone that would love me. Therefore, I began my quest in finding a life-long partner to marry.
In the fall of 1991, God brought someone into my life that would change my life for eternity; that being my wife Kelleye. Kelleye and I dated off and on for several months. However, Kelleye was a fairly independent, confident young lady that was not in a hurry to get married. Continuing my history of poor choices, I eventually found someone that was as anxious to get married as I was. We began dating and after only 6 months we got married on August 8, 1992. I won’t go into detail, but the marriage was doomed from the start to say the least. Several people tried to talk me out of marrying this young lady including my wife of 28 years, Kelleye. Kelleye even came to the wedding and wore a bright orange dress that stood out among the crowd of over 400 attendees. In June of 1993, I came home to find a letter on the kitchen table from my then current spouse telling me she was leaving me and did not love me. She filed for divorce which was finalized on August 31, 1993.
Having no family nearby, and needing to talk to someone, I called Kelleye’s dad, Phil Hogan. Later that evening Kelleye called me, and we spoke over the phone for some time. In the months to follow, Kelleye and I began dating. However, I was a mess to say the least. The church I had been serving kept me on staff even though I had gone through a divorce. It was kind of like, “out of sight, out of mind”. I never went to counseling and the church I served offered no help. They even encouraged me as I began dating Kelleye only a couple of months after I had become divorced. I often look back on those days and wonder how different life might have been if I had had a Godly mentor or counselor in my life at that time.
Continuing my string of poor choices and reckless living, Kelleye and I’s relationship became more and more physical. In late March of 1994, Kelleye and I found out she was pregnant. Having no idea what we were doing, we got married in Stuart, Florida on April 2, 1994. On December 6th of that same year, Kelleye gave birth to our daughter Ashton Noel.
Our marriage was rough to say the least. It truly is a testimony of God’s grace that our marriage survived. The first 8 years were, to say the least, difficult. I was literally a wrecking ball and a complete mess. Shortly after we got married, we moved to Louisville, Kentucky. After working as a painter for nearly two years, I began serving a church in Grove City, Kentucky in January of 1996. In January of 1997 I began serving as the “Minister of Music and Youth at Bethany Baptist Church in Louisville Kentucky. Honestly, I had no business serving in any church as my life was still a mess, and my relationship with God was distant at best.
My life on the inside was not what it appeared to be on the outside (By the way, what is on the inside will eventually come out!). Furthermore, my insecurities were leading me to believe that Kelleye could not truly love me, and our marriage was bound to be doomed. To make matters worse, my struggle with lust only intensified as we purchased our first computer in the Spring of 1998, at which time I was introduced to the Internet. Let me say to you that there is no way you can be God’s best for your wife and family if you dishonor God by going to places over the internet that lead you to affairs of the mind. One of the greatest tragedies of today’s world is that people can have an affair without leaving their phone, tablet, or computer. I am convinced that there are folks that are reading this right now that are struggling with moral issues (pornography) that do not allow them to be all that God has for them to be. People that are a slave to porn rather than a slave to God. God is calling Christians to be pure and to lead their families down paths of Godliness. Whatever it might be that enslaves you today, know that Christ offers you freedom, redemption, and restoration. The key is you must want to change in order for God to make a change in you. I can personally testify to you that it is better to be a slave of Christ than to be a slave of sin.
In the fall of 2002, after admitting to an inappropriate sexual relationship, I resigned from Bethany Baptist Church and was forced to leave the seminary I had been attending. Just a week before, I confessed everything to my wife including my years of bondage to sin. I then begged my wife to leave me... to give up on me... to find someone better than the piece of crap I was. I even tried yelling at her and telling her I didn’t love her. What my wife said to me next would forever change my life. She said, and I quote, “God has not given up on you and neither will I”. In that moment, for the first time in my life I saw Jesus! Although broken, worn, weary, and wounded, my wife demonstrated to me what the love and grace of Christ looked like. It was there and then that I fell to my knees and surrendered my life to Christ.
God has been faithful. He restored my marriage, my family, and my ability to trust. I was released from years of lies that Satan used to hold me captive. Satan wanted me to believe that I would always struggle with lust, that I could never trust the love of my wife, and that I had already sinned way too much to experience God’s grace. Bottom line... God won, and Satan was defeated.
I believe God is in the business of restoring broken lives and giving hope to the hopeless. I share this with you today to testify that there is no pit too deep, nor circumstance too great that God cannot deliver you from. I want to say how thankful I am to Pastor Kevin Hamm and the deacon body of Valley View Baptist Church for being so instrumental in our healing and restoration process.
My Life Journey from January 2004 to Present
In January of 2004 I began serving in the position of Music and Worship Associate at North Way Christian Community in Wexford PA. The leadership was made aware of my past failure. For the first year I served as a part-time hourly employee. After a year of serving part-time, I was hired as a full-time employee. I served North Way Christian Community for 3 years.
In January of 2007, I accepted the position of Worship Pastor at Grace Community Church in Cranberry Twp. PA. I resigned my position at Grace Community Church in July of 2009. My resignation came out of a mutual agreement between the Executive Pastor, Lead Pastor, and myself, that God was leading me away from Grace Community Church and into a new ministry. I served Grace Community Church 2.5 years.
During the months of July, August, and September of 2009, my wife Kelleye and I, along with five couples from our local area began the process of planting a new church in our home community of Gibsonia PA. The church (Living Bridge Community Church) launched on September 27 of 2009. In January 2010 I began having neck problems which led to a one level cervical fusion. The fusion failed and the result would be years of pain and numerous other surgeries (a total of 4 anterior and 3 posterior). My neck and thoracic spine are currently fused from C3 to T3.
Due to my physical limitations, burn out, and a combination of constant pain and being placed on pain medications and muscle relaxers, I felt I could no longer lead the church plant effectively. In January of 2012, I began discussions with First Baptist Tullahoma TN to be considered for their open position of Minister of Music. I served Living Bridge Community Church for 2.5 years.
On July 1, 2012, I began a five-year tenure as Minister of Music at FBC Tullahoma TN. Four years into my tenure the pastor retired, and the staff and church philosophy began to change. In June of 2017 I resigned my position at FBC Tullahoma. I served FBC Tullahoma for five years.
I spent much of the summer of 2017 interviewing with various churches as Kelleye and I sought God’s will for our future. As the summer progressed, God made it clear that we were not only to stay in Tullahoma, but that He was leading us to plant a new church in Tullahoma. As I began planting the church, and in an effort to bring in some much-needed income, I worked as a substitute teacher at Tullahoma High School from October 2017 to December 2017. In January 2018 I made the decision to devote all of my time to planting God’s church called Life Change Church Tullahoma. I faithfully served LCCT from September 2017 up until my resignation on September 14, 2022.
I want to make it clear that over the past 20+ years I have not engaged in, been accused of, nor have I placed myself in a position that would ever allow myself to be found in the unfortunate situation I placed myself in over 20 years ago. I have strived to make the necessary changes in my life and lifestyle, including accountability and safeguards, to never place myself in a compromising situation again.
I have repented of my sin, been reconciled to my wife, and am deeply remorseful for my failure. The man I am today would do anything, if I could, to change what transpired so many years ago. I am truly sorry for the hurt and the pain that I caused all involved.
My wife and I will celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary on April 2, 2023. I have a 28-year-old daughter who is married to a wonderful man, a grandson I absolutely can’t get enough of, and another grandson on the way. I have a 23-year-old son who is extremely talented and of whom I am very proud of. My family is my first priority under my relationship with God. I have and am doing my best to live a life that honors God and my family. I continue to strive to be the man of integrity God has called me to be and will continue to call me to be until the Lord calls me home.
Below is a Psalm that I have prayed through many times and will always mean so very much to me.
Psalms 51
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. 18 May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Christian Watts
December 6, 2022
