Disclaimer: The words I share below come from my heart. A heart that is heavy when it comes to “the church”. At the end of this post, I have a few questions for you that I would appreciate your honest answers to, even if you believe your answer might step on MY toes! Thank you in advance for sharing thoughtfully and honestly with me and with others. I have purposely made this post public, and in doing so, I fully understand that some comments may prove difficult to read which is ok as I am seeking truth and not comfort.
For the majority of my nearly 52 years, I have attended church regularly either as the son of a minister or as one who was serving in full-time ministry. Therefore, until recently, not attending church was never really an option for me. I guess you could say it was something I was expected to do either as a child of a minister, or as one that was actively serving a church. However, 11 months ago that all changed…
When God led me to begin a new work in Tullahoma called Life Change Church Tullahoma, it was never about me. You may believe it was, and you are entitled to your opinion, but God knows it was not. I believed that God had called me to plant a church that people would want to attend. A church that was REAL! A church where people with real problems could encounter a real God that has the answers to their problems. A church that didn’t judge people based on their past, but helped people see their potential future in Christ. A church where people could find community, and realize they were not alone in their struggles. I truly believed that God had called me to lay the foundation of a church that would meet the needs of people in our area of many many years after I was gone.
Let me make something very clear… Being a pastor was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Yes, there are times when it can be very rewarding, but carrying the burdens, heartaches, tears, and the needs of others on your shoulders is excruciating and exhausting. You might be surprised to hear that I find life much easier being out of ministry than in it. Truthfully, I enjoy having my weekends. I like the fact that I don’t have to go to church if I don’t want to. I have a newfound freedom that I never fully experienced before, which in turn, has me rethinking everything I ever did when I served as a minister within the church.
I think it is important to note that my faith in God is still very much fully intact. What is not so intact is my faith in the church; at least not the church as I see it from where I sit today.
These past 11 months have changed me in so many ways. For the first time in my life, I have been able to see the church from from an outside perspective, and it has been life-changing. If I were to ever serve a church again, I would do so many things differently. Why? Because I have become “that person”. The person I never thought I would be. Yes, I have become the person who sees the church as something that is better out of my life than in it.
It may sound like I have given up on church… Well, not exactly. What I have given up on is the church that so many of us see or know. I see pastors that live to hear the approval of their congregants. I see church attendees that see their pastor as some sort of celebrity that they place on a huge pedestal. And let me tell you that the pedestal will break and your pastor will let you down. He/she is human BTW. I hear pastors scolding their attendees when they aren’t at “their church” on any given Sunday. I see money being used for bigger buildings and more staff rather than being used to meet the needs of those that are in need. I see people posting on Facebook about how great their church or pastor is rather than posting about how great their God is! I literally could go on and on when it comes to what I see. And hind sight being 20/20, I can look back and see that the church I once led was beginning to reflect some of the negative attributes I mentioned above. It can happen even with the best of intentions.
Someone once told me that, “ministry is about people”. This should be no shocker as we only have to look at Jesus to see what the church (the Body of Christ) is supposed to look like and act like. Jesus met people where there are. He made time for them, one on one, and His disciples followed His example. It is extremely hard to do, but it is what “we” (you and I that claim the name of Christ), are called to do. And it doesn’t take a degree, a position, nor the approval of others to do it. We only need to follow the One that showed us how to live and how to love and that is Jesus.
Friends, I want to ask you a few questions that I would appreciate honest answers to. You can answer one, or you can answer them all. I truly believe your answers will help others.
1. Do you attend church? Why or why not?
2. Are you one that has given up on church? Why?
3. If you were able, what would you change about church as we know it today?
Thank you for allowing me to share. It is my prayer that God uses even the worst days of my life to bring about good for His glory and to further His kingdom!
